At the hospital last month:

Betty: O ano raw?

Ria: No U.T.I. naman but my back is sooo bad that I had contractions. Normal naman ultrasound and heartbeat.

Betty: Sinabi mo na ba sa kanila hindi ka normal?

*Toink

In Manila last week:

Kris: Galit si Dad na hindi ako umuwi sa Ilocos.

Ria: I’m sorry talaga.  I can’t do all your errands here anymore eh (buy and carry 100 shirts sa Divisoria; get giant tarps for the Ilocos bike event). Besides, it might not be safe to travel yet as andito pa typhoon Ketsana. Call them back and tell them to blame me for this bad judgment call — I am evil to them naman, so what is an additional blame, di ba?

Kris: Next time, hon, I cannot heed pleas to stay pag-uuwi na ako ng ilocos ha.

Ria: Okay. Even when I give birth na, I will not even compel you to go to Manila at baka magalit na naman pamilya mo sa akin. Tatawagan na lang kita if you have a son or a daughter.

*Not joking.