earthdate 071808: on being together with Kris
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For the life of me, I really wish I’d stop hearing these comments:
1. Uy, magiging "Ablan" ka na! Politically-related!;
2. O, as Mrs. Kris Ablan, dapat sanay ka na (sa politika, sa public life).
On
the first comment: really, what is fascinating or exciting about that?
I’m actually more apprehensive ‘coz there are just additional
"impressions" to put up with. To be specific about it, as a son of a
seasoned politician, many people believe Kris got more ‘power,’ money,
and/or connections. Beyond the said typical-Filipino impression, Kris
is actually just an ordinary guy. No big cars (he can only afford the
basic Vios); no expensive clothing (we go to outlet stores, clearances,
and sales); no endless credit or source of money (my goodness, inspect
our wallets sometimes and see how flat broke we can be); no flaunting
of connections (and it really irks us if he is forced to use so ‘coz we
are behaving like the very people we despise; besides, when we get
flagged down by cops or traffic enforcers, we never ever emphasized his
connection with someone from the HoR); and no additional privileges
(for his own projects, he still need to file papers and go through the
usual request route any other person seeking assistance from his father
would — pero sige na, as concession, his requests may be processed
faster than an ordinary person…pero some also get denied as well
naman din; we still personally file and queue for our GSIS insurance
policies; I am even the one who registered his vehicle in Manila sa
LTO).
We
do things normal and I have no qualms about it. In fact, the whole
time I’ve known Kris, I never even asked him for a favor that would
require wielding of the alleged political power/connection — not even when our car was carnapped; not even when I was flat broke, still without a job and without my father already.
Rule
of thumb kasi with us, sariling sikap lahat. Kung may gulo kang
papasukin, dapat mapanindigan mo and not cry like a baby to be bailed
out by somebody else.
Kaya,
nakakatawa na lang isipin na ang daming nag-papa-favor kay Kris; pero
siya, he would even think twice out of dignity and good moral fiber to
even use his family name or father to get out of any trouble.
Thus,
I am very wary — I don’t want to be in the same position as him i.e.
other people have a lot of expectations just because of the family name
and connection. Truth be told, I am really considering of maintaining
my surname even after the wedding to avoid these uncomfortable parrying
of favors and putting up with unreasonable expectations.
In
addition (but not entirely related to the matter), my legal prefix was
earned as a Berbano and because of my family’s provisions; thus I want
said success to remain listed under said surname.
2.
On the second point, my response is: Hindi ako plastic, hindi ako
ornament-girl lang para tumungo lang at walang opinion sa mga
bagay-bagay, hindi ko kayang makipagsabayan sa pakikipag-sosyalan, at
hindi ako galing sa isang political clan din para maging sanay sa mundo
ng pulitika.
My
family is just simple and private. My paternal great grandparents were
teachers from Cagayan Valley (yes, I am Ilocano too; and yes, I can
understand a bit of Ilocano — kaya sige, pag-usapan lang ninyo ako in
Ilocano in my presence kasi obvious na hindi ako ang walang manners sa
mga ganung sitwasyon. besides, honestly, I get really amused when this
happens). My paternal grandfather died during WW2; he was awarded a
purple heart by the U.S. Veterans. My paternal grandmother was also a
teacher. She stood as my maternal figure during my younger years. My
dad was a journalist and a true blue Atenean since high school (the now
defunct Ateneo de Tuguegarao). His sister is literally so — a nun. I
got a brother, now settled in the U.S. My mom is also a government
employee.
Yes,
we are not a force to reckon with; but on the other hand, we are not so
insignificant to just be ignored. Hindi man pulitiko si Papa, he had
always been close with known politicians (his guests and flower-donors
during his funeral actually even surprised me). Nakakabilib tuloy lalo
at nakakataba ng puso hearing stories from them about my dad during the
wake.
As
for me, hindi ko ginamit those connections ni Papa. They were his out
of his own merit. And so, with his precedence, I know I don’t need to
come from a political family nor do I need to be politically-sip-sip to
get to places and meet people.
Following
his route of sipag at tiyaga; combined with my Atenean indoctrination
of being a person for others; plus, practicing the basic manners
ingrained in me by my elders; and being my truthful self — I strongly
believe and fervently pray that people will see through me and know how
genuine I am at hindi namumulitika lang. Yes, too idealistic and
unrealistic for Filipino-political-setting, but personally, I would not
want me the other way.
I
admit though, I gotta work on being "diplomatic." Sige, I present that
as a personal challenge; but that is where I draw the line ‘coz I don’t
want to be "sanay" with or convert to patronizing the "typical Filipino
politics" of plastikan and gamitan.
Promise, I give any of you the license to slap me when I morph into that kind of a beyotch.
