Morbid thoughts at 12mn — Bets and I talked about how we want our funerals to be. We talked about flowers, funeral parlors, final resting places, make-up, etc. With all those things that should be taken in consideration, it struck me, I’m not ready to die — I don’t have an outfit yet! Which led us to wonder, is a black dress appropriate to wear in a coffin? Usually, family and friends of someone who passed away wear black or white outfits to show their grief; then, as a dead person, can you wear black to express your grief in leaving this world din? Hmmmm.
I reminded Bets of my idea long before that guests signing on the guest book should immediately receive a thank you postcard (so, dapat may receptionist by the guest book). That or make the ‘receptionist’ insist upon the guests to state their complete addresses. Kasi, ‘til now, I still got thank you cards for our condolers in 2003 eh. I dunno how to dispose of them ‘coz the guest book reflected incomplete addresses.
In connection with this idea, I told Betty of a modified version: when my time comes, how about instead of thank you card/postcard, they give out my pencils with a note of gratitude attached to them? Siempre, Betty berated me: 1) bawal daw kumuha ng gamit ng patay so wala raw tatanggap nun; 2) hindi naman wedding/debut/christening/birthday yung event para magkaron ng ‘giveaways.’ I countered, my pencils would be meaningful tokens of gratitude; besides, I don’t want to bequeath my collection unto anybody — baka tasahan lang and iba yung care of a collector building up a collection than a person just receiving in bulk a collection.
I also shared a new idea: I want two kinds of viewing — three days with me in a coffin and one day of me in an urn already. Then, on the fifth day, burial na. What’s with the day in an urn? I figured, during a funeral, seeing the body of the loved one who passed away makes the death seem unreal pa…then after a few days, burial na. Parang biglang whip, wala na…and everyone goes home…and those left behind feel all the more ‘empty.’ With a day of viewing of the ashes of the person who passed away, parang may ‘letting go’ period…but still in the presence of condolers/friends/relatives. Seeing just the urn after days of seeing the body would somehow ease in the reality of the loss in another level (as hindi na nga ‘physically’ present yung namatay). So, when burial comes, somehow, it wouldn’t be that much of a shock when you suddenly don’t get to see the person who passed away anymore. Gets?
This might not make any sense now. But, from experience kasi, the final day of viewing before the burial is the hardest. One moment, we’re still with our loved one who passed away, the next cremation/burial na. Parang ang bilis, tapos and final na agad. Shocker to the senses and more pronounced ang loss. And with everyone leaving after, talagang nakakabaliw ang grief!
Ah basta, I ordered Betty to honor these requests or else, I’d be a mumu to them J. Thus says Betty: Sana mauna na lang ako sa ‘yo J!
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