message from the Office of University Development & Alumni Relations:

Let me just get some things out of my system before I dive into my voluminous rollo.

A repeated chapter of my life has just ended, and the consequent chapter (parang mala-Choose Your Own Adventure Book) of waiting for results begins.  As I’ve said, at least, I won’t be stressed too much about the long wait ‘coz work and errands would leave no room for that.  Besides, I cannot do anything about my booklets anymore.  They are now in the mercy of God and the examiner. 

Speaking about God.  I still honestly do not know why He allowed my past failures.  I still haven’t identified the lesson I should have learned from the sad experiences.  One thing I’ve noticed though is I’m not as bitter about the past.  I’m also no longer greatly embarrassed with how I did.  In fact, I openly joke about my failures as “bisyo” already and one for the history.  I actually even see that said failures can be sources of hope — that in the wheel of life, pains will soon pass (imagine, I’ve been dreading the four Sundays of September 2006 but they are now all in the past); that in times of sorrows, there are some friends and strangers who would be angels in my life; that in the event I finally pass come April 2007, I’d truly be a testament of God’s mercy and human resilience; that by not giving up, I’ve seen how much I can be stronger than how I thought I already was; and that there is no point in telling God that I’ve already had my great share of burdens to incur more ‘coz these things are unquantifiable anyway — how we face the burdens makes us who we are and not the number of experiences we can tally in our life’s imaginary score card.  With me pursuing the bar again, I am content with how I am — that I did not give in to defeat and useless misery.  That portion in the Ateneo bar prayer is true:  "we do not ask this (help while taking the exams) by our own merits. we cannot point to our faithful service in the past as deserving this special help."  In the end, it’s not the score that matters, but how we’ve dealt with the challenges. 

Is this acceptance already?  I cannot say I am entirely sure ‘coz on the one hand, my outlook can just mean I’ve become tired of carrying my past grudges; on the other hand, it can just mean I’ve already deluded myself with my philosophical exercises. Besides, despite seeing some theological aspects in my current situation, I still propound my “whys” to God and I still veer away from religious practices I’ve patronized before.  So, I am not really certain.

One negative thing that still gets me though is looking where my batchmates are now.  Yes, it’s not healthy to compare and spin webs of jealousy; but it’s tough not to when I hear about them slowly fulfilling their dreams or becoming this or that already while I haven’t even taken off from our square one. 

But yeah, there is no point to wallow in these thoughts.   Anyway, at least I’m not doing entirely bad considering my set backs.  I am earning for my needs (and occasional wants) and enjoying so at a very reputable institution at that (for almost a year now — wow, how time indeed flies).  Life is still good.  And I am still hopeful it can get better.  Heck, we’ve just recently seen that one second can do a world of wonders.

Hence for now, I’d just keep on hoping for mercy and a miracle.

• Bar?  What bar?  Hahaha.  I guess this is the beauty of having work right after the 4^th Sunday of September, no time to mull over and torture my mind incessantly over the results which will come out still six months from now.
• Last Sunday, I’ve been feeling painful heartburns again.  I was joking Kris, with the constant heartburns I’ve been having, baka mamaya we just dismiss the pains pero stroke na pala!  Naku, wag naman…lalo na kung ma-lagot ako now tapos papasa pala sa April.  How morbid!
• Yesterday, I had xwind tuned up in time for its registration next month.  Two bad news — the radiatior had a leak, thus needed to be welded; and I missed the hassle-free registration at Total-Merville Access Road(slated September 23, 2006), thus I need to go to LTO talaga (parusa!!!). Sigh.
• I was also able to have lunch with tita grace and angel to celebrate the latter’s birthday.  Visited project 2 after to see Merly’s baby and Lola who has flu. 
• Today, I was happily reunited with my officemates.  It’s like I gulped down lots of gummiberry juice and was bouncing the whole morning making kwento and asking how people were — translation: overly bibo.  I also chatted with Jove whom I’ve super missed in the institution.
• Kablam back to work business: three cases for the green team and one case for drafting na. 
• I was telling Jove, I have two new dreams: to be a supervisor in the bar next year and to finally do bar-ops for the AHRC again, but not as a student anymore. J
• Weird though, I quite miss the school now.  It was nice to go back for a while to the old grounds seeing old friends (AHRC people, the Admin people, some professors, Mang Nats of Rex, Irene the thesis center, the maintenance people) and forging deeper friendships (Zeena and Lester).  I’m also grateful for the accessibility of the APS Chapel with its short but very meaningful masses. Heck, I’ve even come to appreciate the litany of Fr. M. because it helped a lot remembering who I’ve promised and noted to pray for. 
• According to CNN weather station, we’re in for lots of rains the coming days. 
• Uy, na-appoint si CJ Fernando exactly on my birth date!  Hehehe, trivia discovered ‘coz complete na mga name plaque of all the CJs lining the walls outside the SC session hall.
• Mylanta from Pfizer — yummy, tastes like Tums!

yes, i am kulit already;  but i would like to repeat my heartfelt thanks to all who became part of berbar-ops, to all my well wishers, and to all those who told me they prayed for me. i could never have done the whole thing all over again if not for your encouragment, help, and support. thus, allow me to indulge:

maraming, maraming, maraming salamat.

a conversation…1

Ria: Bets, we need a new bangwa!

Betty:  Bagwa!  Hindi bangwa!

Ria: yun din yun.

Betty: bakit?

Ria: Kasi, may kinalaban sigurong evil spirit yung bangwa natin kaya medyo sira na.

Betty: eeeeevil spirit…hmmm.

a conversation…2

Lainie: Ria!!!

Ria: Naks, overseas call! hi, lains!

Lainie (finally answering my query regarding beneditine medals): sabi ni mommy you put the medals sa mga doors ng bahay to shoo away bad elements.

Ria: Ah.  Pero, ang kailangan namin ngayon, bangwa…na sabi ni betty bagwa daw talaga.

Lainie: yung pang feng shui?

Ria: yeah.  pero, i insist bangwa yun. kasi mas chinese sounding ang bangwa than bagwa.  o, say bagwa with chinese accent. bag-WA.  di ba, ang strong ng dating?  o, say bangwa with chinese accent. bang-Wa.  di ba mas chinese-y ang dating?

Lainie:  bag-WA. bang-Wa.  Baliw ka talaga! Ewan ko sa ‘yo!

conversation…3, continuation with lainie

Ria: anyways, yun nga we need to replace our bangwa, bagwa, whatever.  but sabi nila, it should be given, not bought.

Lainie: bakit ba?

Ria: eh kasi nga, parang sira na…may naka-away sigurong evil spirit at hindi nakayanan kaya ayun, talo.

Lainie: evil spirit…hmmm.  anong bagwa ba yan?  sabi ni mommy it matters kung pano located sa dead end house nyo — baka you need a concave or a convex one.

Ria: we are perpendicular to a dead end and the bangwa, parang contact lens pag susuutin mo.

Lainie: hala, sabi ni mommy baligtad.

Ria: so, kami yung evil spirit na kinaaway kaya nasira?

Lainie:  hahahahahaha, hindi ka nakaya, ri!

after relaying our conversation to betty at night…

Betty:  hindi na ma-take nung bagwa kaya nag-self-destruct!

Ria: oooooh.  bang-WA!

Betty: bag-Waaaaaah! 

damn, i’m tired!

no, no, no…not because of the 4th sunday; rather due to the stress of catching the last 10 minutes of the UAAP Championships game 1 on t.v. (wasted no time to rush from DLSU)!

whatagame! whatagame! whatagame!

yup, i admit it, i was a dis-believe-r during the time-out with the last second left on the clock. i was already crying then and started keying in sad messages of defeat in my mobile phone.  then kris shouted, "We won!"

what?! *replay*

Oh boy! 

to the Blue Eagles, you gave me a whole new meaning to the word "hope," to the motto "never give up," and yeah, to some extent "the world of possibilities/luck."

betty (a ust tiger) shrieks, "how can you win in one second?!"

believe.

wag nang paabutin ng 3rd game (altho i can’t watch the 2nd game live due to work and me not having any leave credits left).

happy eleven O’96 years!

http://www.supremecourt.gov.ph/publications/benchmark/2006/08/080605.php

• sneezing can be dangerous to your health.  and i am not just talking about those big "haaaaaaaachooooooo!s"  Last year, mel’s "achu" landed her in an ER due to a consequent horrible back pain.  Yesterday, while going down our stairs (holding the banister and my arm trailing behind me), i had a sudden sneeze.  toink.  my old dislocated shoulder popped out.  yeoooooowch!  double ouch ‘coz i had to pop it back in.  dang!  now, my shoulder feels like it’s been to a battle.  betty, please ipabalik na sa pfizer ang bextraaaa!
• What’s with Prudential Life’s Accident Insurance?  Two people called at home the past two days saying i should claim my accident insurance policy with them blah blah blah.  they got my name through referrals blah blah blah.  but despite being from the same company, giving the same insurance policy — the reference codes given to me are different.  heck, the place where i should claim the said insurance policies are also different.  both required me to present three IDs — office, government issued, and a bank ID.  a what?  bank ID.  either a check or credit card daw.  what’s with that?
• Condolence, zeena.
• Dropped by SM MOA on my way to school yesterday so as to see the Proj. 2 gang before Tito Danny and Denise fly back to the land down under, and  Tita Grace returns to Romania.  Of course, the moment i got off the car, bumuhos ang ulan (first time i parked outside pa man din).  drenched til i got to rockwell.  sigh.
• I heard mass at the chapel inside powerplant.  may chapel nga!  in fairness, it was really nice.  although, iba pa rin pag jesuit ang priest — hehehe, biased! 
• Happy birthday, ems!
• Anniversary ng martial law.  There’s gonna be a rally at Liwasang Bonifacio later.
• Ria: bets, imagine;  those robins flew with twigs on their mouths and go "pwe" at their nest site many times over, then arranged said twigs to form a perfect nest.  grabe ang effi and ang O.C.!

Betty: Ria, siguro robin ka nung past life mo!