Posted November 26, 2005 |
- happy to have met my proj. 2 relatives for lunch yesterday. my two nieces played the noon away!
- happy to have seen my LM friends last night. great number of people. sad that it was in effect our Christmas gathering already — had we known it to turn out that way, we would have been better off in a house so we could have chatted and ‘hear’ one another better.
- last night got me thinking. the past year of meeting old friends, it was emphasized on me that my stay in lawschool and the two bars thereafter ‘wasted’ my years away. a lot of the people i was with in college and high school are managers of this and that company, doing good in their own/family business, have families/kids na, had travelled here and there, or are doing great abroad na. me, i’ve just started to join the work force with (i presume) the smallest salary compared with them (pero hay, thank goodness na nga lang rin that i’ve started already or else, i’ll feel smaller than how i do now). the common question-greeting i get is "saan ka na?" than "kamusta ka na?" Some pressure ‘coz the question sort of like measures you up since graduating from high school/college. until i pass the bar exams, gusto ko na tuloy maging incognito and live a hermit life.
- yesterday’s activities left me so drained that i feel sooo sick now. My lungs/abdomen are painful from coughing, my nose is so red from sneezing, my throat feels like burning, and i’ve got no voice (as expected — bouts with cough makes me lose my voice ever since). With my thinking/philosophizing and physical condition, i can’t help but wallow in self-pity. dang, i miss my dad in times like this. when i get sick, i get all the food i like/made to fee so comfy and sort of feel ‘baby-ed.’ double dang, whenever i miss my dad, i totally feel sooooo depressed with all the forced changes in my life. so devastatingly alone (save nanang) and different from how it had been when i was not yet a ‘real adult.’
- sigh, this year seems like my very un-healthy year. i’ve got flu every quarter. to think i’ve been eating healthy, drinking vitamins, not into smoking/alcohol/drugs! must have been hexed (hmmm)!
- a thought on my sore throat and voice-less state. i hope whenever i get sick like this, i won’t encounter any accident/emergency that i would need to shout for help. imagine not being able to holler for help when i would badly need assistance? ang sad and scary!
