Yesterday afternoon

RIA: Nyaks. Umuulan.  Sabagay, I thought kanina it would rain today.

Mel: Ria naman eh; maglalakad pa ako.

RIA: Hatid na kita.  Then i’ll lend you an umbrella.

Mel: Thanks for the ride.  But ‘wag na the umbrella.  I’m sure pag-alis mo, titigil na rin yan.

Last night

RIA: Ang hopeless na ng bar.

Josel: Ay, ‘wag mong isipin ang ganyan.  Kumain ka na lang ng SansRival.

RIA: Huh?!

1.  I’m wondering, why do we get exams on legal forms (as part of legal ethics) when Sections 5 and 6 of Rule 138 of the Rules of Court of the Philippines includes Medical Jurisprudence in the curriculum of legal studies?  Hmm. I actually like ForMed than Legal Forms anyway.

2. There is another motion for reconsideration with E-VAT. Grabe siguro pages sa SCRA nito after everything is settled and ma-implement na ang VAT.

3. My sun cellular phone is back in business due to Daylite load!

4. I am officially sick today.  I can hardly study due to sinus and feverish state. but no, still gotta read with bleary eyes and pesky colds.  Yes, I did take lots of ascorbic acid, water, and juices.  I even took Sinutab (for the life of me, I don’t use colds medicine despite my over dependence on ‘drugs.’)! That bad.

5. Last week, I felt like I was bulldozed over due to some bar-related inquiry upon me.  There were two separate occasions where acquaintances greeted me "Attorney!"  (Similar to Atty. Sed’s booboo in April).  I told them, "Not yet; I am taking the bar exams again this year."  I wish it would stop at that and it would immediately dawn upon them that I did not make it last year.  But no.  The separate incidents have to continue with a question like: "Why?"  To which I reply, "Obviously, I did not make it last year."  However, there just had to be a follow-up question of, "What happened?!"  Dang, I hate to say it but do I always have to spell it out that I FAILED THE SEPTEMBER 2004 BAR EXAMS.  Hmm, I think I would make shirts in parody of Ben Chan’s 100% HUMAN.  I would design and wear shirts with prints:

a. "00.20% NON-LAWYER" or

b. "74.80% SUCCESS" below so the line: "September 2004" or

c. "Bar Exams 2004: Just for Experience" or

d. "Bar Exams 2005: one more time, with feelings" or

e. in front "74.80% EFFORT," at the back "00.20% bad luck" or

f. all of the above so I can wear one for every school day of the week. 

6. A typical defense mechanism to save face/uphold dignity is to put on a mask of indifference and laugh off or make jokes of trying situations.  I’ve been doing so since April 2005.  This September, another added act is to sometimes participate in discussions I am forced to hear/fight off the “you’re wrong” comments with justification of my answers — just to counter-piss the person who says so.  Immature, but some people kasi can just be so insensitive and irritating.  But doing these defensive actions so for these weeks now can just be soooo taxing.  Thus, I’ll just shut up and not talk with anyone anymore.  Self-imposed ‘silent retreat.’ Besides, I am drained and tired already.

when searching for recipes (makes use of/gives substitute for locally available items), try:

http://www.goodfood.com.ph/

some fave lines from kris’ cut-out of "Expressions for High Stress Days" listed in Jay Gonzalez’ column, Worthless Wisdom:

1. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
2. You! Off my planet!
3. Therapy is expensive; poppin’ bubble wrap is cheap.  You choose.
4. I’m tryung to imagine you with a personality.
5. Back-off! You’re standing in my aura (Ria’s version:  backoff!  You’re intruding my big personal-space-bubble!)
6. I just want revenge.  Is that so wrong?
7. Nice perfume.  Must you marinate in to?
8. I’m not tense, just terribly terribly alert.
9. Ambivalent?  Well, yess and no.
10. Better living through denial.

ok, let me correct myself. baka chalazion lang ‘yon at hindi sty.

What Is a Sty?

A sty is a pimple or abscess that forms in either the upper or lower eyelid. The medical term for sty is hordeolum(say HOR-dee-oh-lumm) and it is an infection caused by bacteria that normally live peacefully on the eyelid skin surface. Some of thee germs get trapped along with dead skin cells inside crypts along the eyelid margin. Stys are usually superficial and plainly visible. Occasionally they can reside deeper within the eyelid.

An external sty starts as a pimple next to an eyelash. It turns into a red, painful swelling that usually lasts several days before it bursts and then heals. Most external stys are short-lived and self-limiting.

An internal sty(on the underside of the lid) also causes a red, painful swelling, but its location prevents the familiar whitehead from appearing on the eyelid. The internal sty may disappear completely once the infection is past, or it may leave a small fluid-filled cyst or nodule that can persist and may have to be opened and drained.

Folks tend to confuse a sty with another common lid lump - the chalazion (say cha-LAY-zee-yon). A chalazion is very different from a sty and is not an infection. It is instead a firm, round, smooth, painless bump usually some distance from the edge of the lid. A chalazion is a local tissue reaction to oily glandular secretions that were unable to reach the lid surface because the duct was blocked by debris.

Stys and chalazia are usually harmless and rarely affect your eyeball or your eyesight. They can occur at any age and tend to periodically recur.

What Causes It?

Stys are usually caused by staphylococcal bacteria, which often live right on the skin surface. Truth be told, our bodies are coated with billions of friendly bacteria that coexist with us. When the conditions are just right the bacteria feast on dead cells and other debris, resulting in the tender pimple.

For the sake of comparison, a chalazion is caused by the blockage of tiny eyelid gland ducts that normally transports an oily substance called meibom. This oily material enters the tear film to prevent tear evaporation. Trapped or misplaced oil stimulates the immune system to cleanup the mess. Chalazia develop over weeks-to-months.

Medically Reviewed by William C. Lloyd, MD, July 2005.

SOURCES: Bradford, C (Editor) Basic Ophthalmology,

American

Academy

of Ophthalmology, 2004. pp 88-91. The Mayo Clinic.

http://my.webmd.com/content/article/7/1680_53912

sa mga texts, suporta, encourangements, prayers, lighted candles in my behalf, visits, cheers, food delivery, blue and other tips delivery, drive for us, took care of our stuff, pag-alaga/aruga kahapon….muli, mula sa kaibuturan ng aking puso, maraming maraming salamat:

kris.mildz.shey.mel.betty.mitch.ahrc interns.ateneo bar ops.faye&roy.anne.ticot.abel.upsilon.iyok.emma.josel.allan.mrs. honrado.leo.jasmin.john and utopia.apple.pixie.ninang boots.lenlen.

i  feel so totally depressed with the progression of the bar exams.  i don’t think there is an exam where i did ok.  patapos na nga, pero parang wala man lang akong mabawi/maipon na mga puntos.

since yesterday, i just feel like crying over helplessness and hopelessness.  i actually feel feverish now that i’m back home.  this emotional pain and fear have actually transcended to physical chest pain — difficulty in breathing and the feeling like there are some weights piled on top of my shoulders.

i know i’ve studied even more for these exams.  i’ve prepared harder (may personal notes na kasi kaya nang magsulat-sulat, i practiced sleeping/waking up like how we would every saturday night/sunday morning, and i lived somewhat healthily).  But my nervousness (pressure and stress of re-taking) and the lack of time to answer the gazillion questions make it seem like it is so hopeless for me to pass this year!

last year, i was actually a bit confident that i’d pass — i found most of the questions reasonable enough, i’ve answered them all, my grammar was above average, and i prayed very hard for the grace to succeed.

then, look what happend.

(although, allow me to fool my mind to believe the possibility that i’ve actually been DQ-ed due to my handwriting changes because of the hand pains and used "juan de la cruz" kind of names in legal forms). 

this year, i feel so terribly unsure if my score would even reach 60% per subject! the exams were long, there are some questions that just stumped me, i now doubt my capability for good grammar, and my faith has been shaken.

so, how would this turn out?  unfortunately, i gotta wait for six to seven months to know for sure.

Ria: That was bad.  Today was bad.

Ticot: Ang hirap.

Ria: I swear, kung wala ‘tong sangdamukal na mga tao, humahagulgol na ako now as we talk. Takot na talaga ako.  Wala man lang akong OK na exam. Sobrang parang wala nang pag-asa talaga.

I know i need an xwind tune-up/muffler cleaning at the end of the month in time for the LTO registration…but a busted engine at this time? c’mon!  actually, hindi naman busted BUSTED; it’s just that there is this weird noise coming from the engine area — parang fanbelt or so (i’m not sure ‘coz i haven’t popped the hood to inspect with my next-to-nothing-knowledge.  sayang ang panahon at worry since mag-weekend na.  end of the month na lang talaga lalo na remedial gallore next week). i hate to say it, but xwind strikes again!

incidentally, faye called me up to tell me her car was bumped by a very negligent jeepney driver.  mind you, her car was parked in its usual place by their office and maluwag naman other parking space beside it. dang!

——–

woke up with an eye sty today — parang insect bite sa eyelid.  are you kidding me?! at this time?!  sigh* thanks to the fast remedy mane taught me (just hot compress ng hot compress), nag-subside na rin.

——–

sooo tired already.  so crushed in spirit.  but the bar war is still raging.  patuloy, FIGHT!

Date: Thu, 15 Sep 2005 20:24:49 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: Re: Ano na Nangyari sa Yearbook Natin???

Sten