speaking on being alone…figuratively.

we (ticot and i) recently spoke with CLV (our dean) on how we’ve been doing in our reviews and all.  in our discussion, we told him how we feel alone ‘coz our batchmates and friends are now living their respective legal professions; that it is tough to go through everything all over again but we have to set our minds that this September 2005 is a whole new ball game all together; that the stigma of failing is such a living nightmare.

what he told us kinda struck me:  that it is good that we feel alone.  we should embrace it and draw strength from it and from God.  pushed towards such feeling and recognizing it and being strong with it would drive us to study with so much focus and vigor.

i told him, yes, we might be nodding our heads while he spoke; but the doubts will definitely set in to what he said once we step out of his office. 

but thinking about it now, yes, what he said made sense. kasi wala nang iba pa akong magagawa pag-nag-iisa kung hindi mag-aral at isiping last na ‘to talaga.

…and i think that is how i’ve been coping so far (minus the religious aspect). 

although sometimes i think it is the dark side that is propelling me to move on — the hatred for what has happened (and the other stuff that had recently occured in my life) fuels me to redeem myself (and the principles i’m fighting others with). 

*sigh. what a battle within.